How to Meet Your True Soul Mate
Are you feeling slightly stymied by your search for a love that will last-and last happily? "I've looked everywhere!" you say.
By now you must have heard that the only way to find "the one" is to stop looking, right?
But how, you ask, can you find someone if your antenna isn't up? Isn't it true, you argue, that when you stop looking for something (or someone), you chance missing out, entirely?
Well, yes and no. It's true that if you're not open to meeting new people you won't be able to exert that magnetic pull that occurs when a person is attracted to another.
But neither you nor you would-be soul mate will have a chance to know how easy to love you are until YOU know that to be the case!
So, in a way, you do have to stop looking long enough to embrace being happy on your own.
Work On Yourself
A person who's self-absorbed and downcast isn't anywhere near as ready for a relationship as a person who's balanced, and has a sense of his or her involvement in the world.
You see? There is something to be said for not focusing all your time and energy on seeking him or her-yet.
Get busy on becoming the best person you can be. You know the routine: exercise, diet, simplify your life, and decide what your life's mission is. Finally-and this is crucial--join a support group to help you heal from old wounds and to help you trust again.
And while you're letting yourself shine all over again, determine exactly what sort of partner you DO want, when you're ready to share your life again. Here's how:
Type Up an "Ideal Qualities" Card
Many singles find that composing an "Ideal Qualities" card and carrying it around with them helps formalize which traits are most important. In writing the card, concentrate on the positive.
Start by describing yourself, and launch into what sort of person you are looking for. For instance, you might type something along the lines of:
God-conscious vegetarian woman seeks genuinely nice, similarly spiritual, optimistic, non-critical, intellectual man who is innately empathic.
Note that you are not describing what you DON'T want. This will keep you from falling into the trap of approaching the situation from a negative, picayune manner and will help you formulate a healthier overview
Three Tips to Stack the Odds in Your Favor
OK, so once you're working on yourself, and socializing with your support group, what else can you do? Here are three more tips.
1. Rely on friends to introduce you to someone who meets all your qualifications. Your friends are your greatest resource. They won't steer you wrong, provided you ask them to please remember NOT to introduce you to a new, untested friend.
2. Volunteer your time. Whether you give your time and talents to an assisted living facility-teaching the Seniors to paint, or maybe reading to them once a week-or a homeless shelter or a troubled teen center, you'll not only be doing good, but you'll likely hook up with the very nicest group of people. Once you get to know the regulars, be on the lookout for a smiling face you like.
3. Consider becoming the "incoming" person at a local hospital, church, temple, or museum. You'll get to meet and greet visitors as they pour in, especially during events. Put on your most helpful expression and keep your "Ideal Qualities" card handy!
Are you feeling slightly stymied by your search for a love that will last-and last happily? "I've looked everywhere!" you say.
By now you must have heard that the only way to find "the one" is to stop looking, right?
But how, you ask, can you find someone if your antenna isn't up? Isn't it true, you argue, that when you stop looking for something (or someone), you chance missing out, entirely?
Well, yes and no. It's true that if you're not open to meeting new people you won't be able to exert that magnetic pull that occurs when a person is attracted to another.
But neither you nor you would-be soul mate will have a chance to know how easy to love you are until YOU know that to be the case!
So, in a way, you do have to stop looking long enough to embrace being happy on your own.
Work On Yourself
A person who's self-absorbed and downcast isn't anywhere near as ready for a relationship as a person who's balanced, and has a sense of his or her involvement in the world.
You see? There is something to be said for not focusing all your time and energy on seeking him or her-yet.
Get busy on becoming the best person you can be. You know the routine: exercise, diet, simplify your life, and decide what your life's mission is. Finally-and this is crucial--join a support group to help you heal from old wounds and to help you trust again.
And while you're letting yourself shine all over again, determine exactly what sort of partner you DO want, when you're ready to share your life again. Here's how:
Type Up an "Ideal Qualities" Card
Many singles find that composing an "Ideal Qualities" card and carrying it around with them helps formalize which traits are most important. In writing the card, concentrate on the positive.
Start by describing yourself, and launch into what sort of person you are looking for. For instance, you might type something along the lines of:
God-conscious vegetarian woman seeks genuinely nice, similarly spiritual, optimistic, non-critical, intellectual man who is innately empathic.
Note that you are not describing what you DON'T want. This will keep you from falling into the trap of approaching the situation from a negative, picayune manner and will help you formulate a healthier overview
Three Tips to Stack the Odds in Your Favor
OK, so once you're working on yourself, and socializing with your support group, what else can you do? Here are three more tips.
1. Rely on friends to introduce you to someone who meets all your qualifications. Your friends are your greatest resource. They won't steer you wrong, provided you ask them to please remember NOT to introduce you to a new, untested friend.
2. Volunteer your time. Whether you give your time and talents to an assisted living facility-teaching the Seniors to paint, or maybe reading to them once a week-or a homeless shelter or a troubled teen center, you'll not only be doing good, but you'll likely hook up with the very nicest group of people. Once you get to know the regulars, be on the lookout for a smiling face you like.
3. Consider becoming the "incoming" person at a local hospital, church, temple, or museum. You'll get to meet and greet visitors as they pour in, especially during events. Put on your most helpful expression and keep your "Ideal Qualities" card handy!
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